


Good Times Will Come

by ughsastiel



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Homophobic Language, M/M, Modern AU, Other, Police Officer!Dean, Some Violence in later chapters, trans!cas, transphobic language
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2014-02-16
Updated: 2016-02-20
Packaged: 2018-01-12 17:42:46
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,029
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1193940
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/ughsastiel/pseuds/ughsastiel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Castiel has run away from a horrible situation, but at only 17 he can't make it on his own. Police officer Dean Winchester finds him soaked on the side of the road the man picks him up and takes him in. Castiel regretfully agrees, not too keen on the other options. While staying with Dean Castiel meets Dean's younger brother, Sam, and, well, the rest is a trip.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

The kid was soaked to the bone. He looked like a wet rat and hadn’t even noticed the cop car trailing him for the past half hour. Dean finally decided just to pull up to the kid and rolled his window down.

“You on your way home kid? Curfew was an hour ago.” He said. The kid stopped and stared at him.

“Maybe I’m over eighteen.” The kid shrugged.

“Then let me see some ID.” Dean smirked. The kid begrudgingly handed him a ratty looking wallet. He got the driver’s license out. “This says you’re seventeen until January eighth. Mind explaining?”

“I said maybe I was over eighteen, never said I was.”

“Okay then punk,” Dean sighed and got out of his car. “I’m Officer Dean Winchester with the Pontiac police department. What’s your name?”

The kid backed up as Dean took a few steps closer. He shined his flashlight to get a better look. The kid’s pupils weren’t dilated, so no drugs and the kid seemed a little too alert to be drunk.

“Castiel.”

“Okie-Dokie then, Castiel. What are you doing out past curfew?”

“It’s a little hard to go home when you don’t have one.” Castiel folded his arms across his chest and leaned against the closest wall.

“You sure as hell don’t look homeless. So why don’t you tell me what’s really going on?”

“And if I refuse?”

“I’ll just take you down to the station and run your prints.” Dean shrugged and leaned against his car. Castiel was silent. “Do you want a ride home?”

Castiel bit his lip and gave a small nod. Dean grinned and opened up the passenger side door for him. He cautiously stepped closer and, while keeping his distance from Dean, got in. Dean locked the door before closing it and getting in from the other side.

“So where do you live?”

“Arizona.”

“That’s a bit of a hike.” Dean replied without missing a beat.

“I left.”  
“Why’s that?” Dean asked and started the car. He pasted a sigh warning drivers of the police station entrance.

“None of you business officer, just please don’t take me to the police station.” Castiel pleaded. “Anywhere else but there. I can’t have them run my prints.”

“Why’s that?” Dean repeated, glancing at the kid. He looked thinner than Dean first thought, but the baggy clothing really hadn’t given much away. Castiel was silent until they turned into the police station parking lot.

“Because my foster family’s trying to send me away.” He said quickly. “To some camp. Please please don't make me go back. I'd rather die than go back."

Dean sighed and parked. He turned the car off and stared at the kid.

“I don’t accept bribes kid.” He smirked. “But nice try. What would you suggest I go with you if I don’t bring you in?”

“Drop me off at the nearest bus station so I can get to Chicago.”

“Ya’ got family there?”

“No.”

“Then that’s not an option either. Jeez kid, I can’t believe I’m about to offer but, would you like to stay the night at my place?”

“Why?”

“Why what?”

“Why would you offer that? Just let me go and pretend you didn’t see anything.”

“No can do. I’m not about to let some drenched, hungry kid go off into the night in December.”

“What if I blow you?” Castiel offered. “And we can call it even.”

“What the fuck? No!” Dean felt disgusted. Castiel cringed and flattened himself against the seat. Dean started the car and tore out of the parking lot. “Is that how you made it so far without getting caught?”

“Some people want more but generally, yes.” Castiel said softly and slumped over in the seat.

“Look, no. I don’t want that. No offense but I’d rather not solicit sex from a teenage runaway who I’m trying to help.” Dean sighed and ran a hand down his face. “I don’t want anything sexual from you, okay?”

Cas nodded timidly, face still flushed with color. Dean continued to drive.

“I’m going to get you to my place, get you some dry clothes, maybe a shower if you’re interested, a new warm meal and you can sleep in the guest bedroom.” He said, the words coming out harsher than intended.

“Okay,” Cas murmured and shrunk further into the seat.

“God, sorry. Just, I can’t fucking believe the sickos out there that would take advantage of you. You look like you’re twelve.”

“I’m seventeen.”

“I’m aware.”

“And I don’t look like I’m twelve.” Cas pursed his lips.

“Fine you look like a wet rat with those drenched clothes on.” Dean groaned. “Is this really an argument you want to have with me? The guy who’s risking his ass as a cop for not taking your runaway ass in.”

“Sorry.” Castiel muttered. The next five minutes of the drive was completely silent until Castiel spoke up again. “Why did you ask for my name if you don’t use it?”

“Because it’s what I usually do but it turned out to be a mouthful so I’ll just stick to calling you kid for now.”

“You could shorten it if seven letters are that hard for you.”

“God you are slowly becoming a brat.” Dean sighed and pulled into his driveway. “Fine, Cas, is that better?”

“Much.” Castiel nodded. Dean rolled his eyes and pulled into the garage. He waited until the garage rumbled shut behind them before unlocking the patrol car.

“Watch it when you’re getting out. If you so much as scratch my baby I’ll throw your ass in the trunk.”

Dean got out and watched as Cas slowly followed suit. Cas walked at his heels to the door and watched curiously as he unlocked the door.

“Why are you helping me?”

“Because I don’t want to think about what’ll happen if I don’t.” Dean frowned and opened the door. He shooed Cas inside first. “Go into the kitchen and wait for me. Take off your shoes first.”

“Okay.” Cas said softly and kicked off his raggedy sneakers before hurrying off to the kitchen. “Thank you.”

The kitchen wasn’t that hard to find, it was a big open area next to the living room and just outside the laundry room. Dean took a deep breath and walked out.

“Okay, do you want a shower first? I’ll grab some dry clothes for you. Your bathroom’s upstairs, right before the end of the hall. If you walk into a bedroom you’ve gone too far. I’ll leave some clothes for you in the bedroom and towels should already be on the sinks.”

“Thank you Officer Winchester.” Cas smiled faintly as he passed him to go upstairs.

“Just call me Dean.”

Dean went over to the couch and groaned as he fell back onto it. He put his face in both hands and rubbed his eyes. He decided he would call Sam in the morning to make sure he wasn’t making too big of a mistake here. After a few minutes he went upstairs and into Sam’s room. He picked out an old blue sweatshirt, an unopened package of boxers and black sweat pants. Dean left them on the guest bed and retreated back to his room for now.

Cas stayed in the shower for just shy of fifteen minutes. He wrapped the towel around himself and quickly switched from the bathroom to the guest bedroom. He frantically dried himself off and put both sports bras back on before putting the sweatshirt on over. Cas was a little nervous to, but put the boxers on along with the sweatpants. He quietly left the room and walked down the hall.

“Dean? I finished my shower.” He called. Dean quickly hopped off the bed and walked out to meet him.

“Okay, what do you want to eat? I have Italian beef, pulled pork and some green bean casserole.”

“I-I’m not sure.” Cas stammered. “I get to pick?”

“Well yeah, I really don’t care. Have a little bit of everything if you want.” Dean shrugged and started going down stairs.

“That sounds lovely, if you don’t mind.”

Dean nodded and strolled into the kitchen. He opened open the refrigerator and got all the left over containers out.

“How much of each?” He asked as he set them down on the table.

“A lot of pork and green beans, I’m not a huge Italian beef person.” Cas smiled. “But I need the iron so I still want some.”

Dean bit back a laugh and put some food on a plate.

“Okay, you a health freak too?” He asked and stuck the plate in the microwave. “My brother into all that health stuff too and I swear when he come to town it makes me want to choke myself with kale.”

“Kale’s incredibly healthy for you.”

“Aw shit you are.” Dean groaned and leaned against the counter. “Great.”

“I’m not much of a ‘health freak’. I know a good burger when I have one.” Cas shrugged.

“I was teasing you kid.” Dean smirked and got the food out. He handed the plate to Cas. “Eat where ever you want. I’m just going to watch some tv.”

“Alright, thank you.” Cas nodded and went over to the loveseat. He sat down and cautiously started eating.

“If any of its cold don’t be afraid to heat it up some more.” Dean said and sat on the larger couch. “Anything else I should know about you?”

Cas shrugged and shoved some more food into his mouth. Dean rolled his eyes and turned the television on.

“Is there anything I should know about you?” Cas asked. “Like are you a serial killer?”

Dean shook his head and laughed. He muted the tv and tried to catch his breath.

“I promise I’m not a serial killer. I’ve been a cop here for about four years.”

“Your parents must be proud.”

“Both passed away but yeah, I’d like to think they are.” Dean smiled at Cas’s shocked expression. “What happened to your folks?”

“My mom passed away when I was ten and my dad disappeared shortly after.” He quickly put more food in his mouth to stop himself from saying more.

“Do you have any siblings?” Dean asked. “I got my little brother Sam, you know, the health freak.”

“How old is he?”

“Twenty two.” Dean grinned. “He’s really smart too. The kid got a full ride. Last I heard he got a 174 on his LSAT too.”

“Where does he go to school?” Cas asked curiously.

“Stanford, in California. It’s one of the top law schools in the country.” Dean replied. “We haven’t talked in a while so I’m pretty excited he’s coming home next Friday.”

Cas smiled faintly and stood up. Dean hadn’t even noticed Cas had finished eating.

“Where would you like me to put this?”

“Rinse it off and it goes in the bottom rack of the dishwasher.” Dean pointed to the white block below a section of counter. He watched Cas walked over and do as instructed.

“Why did you become a cop?” Cas asked idly. Once the dish was put away he went back to his spot on the couch.

“To protect people. You know, get the things that go bump in the night.” Dean smiled wistfully. “You never answered my sibling question.”

“I have a little sister, Claire. She’s ten.”

“Is she in that foster home too?”

“Yes.” Cas said softly and stared down at his lap.

“Ah.” Dean nodded. “And you’re okay with that?”

“No, but there’s no way I could have protected her when I ran.” Cas pursed his lips and stood. “I would like to retire if you’re finished questioning me.”

“Go ahead, you know which room right.” Dean asked. Cas nodded politely and hurried away.

Dean sighed loudly and rubbed a hand over his face. He patted down his pockets until he found his cell phone and pulled it out. The phone buzzed as it powered up and Dean nearly turned it off again. He slowly dialed his brother’s familiar number and ran a hand through his hair anxiously. It went straight to voicemail and he was hardly surprised but the rejection still stung.

“Hey Sammy. I, uh, just wanted to confirm your flight next week. And if you wouldn't mind, I need some advice. I took in this kid, and I don’t really know what’s next. You’re better with this stuff and I just wanted to do the right thing.”Dean swallowed thickly. “Fuck, Sam. I need your help right now; I’ve been trying to do what you would and now I’m stuck with kid. Please call me back this time. If not I guess I’ll see you on the ninth. Bye, Sammy.”

Dean hung up the phone and quickly shut it off. He shook his head and took a deep breath before making his way to his own bedroom. He glanced down the hall to see Cas’s door shut and the light off. He slowly got ready for bed and crawled under the sheets. Dean yawned and set his alarm before slowly drifting off to sleep.


	2. Chapter 2

Castiel kept his distance during the week. He was skittish at best and it really made Dean wonder what that foster home was like. Dean gave the kid his space, not wanting to tempt him to run away.

Once it was the Friday Sam was supposed to arrive Dean took his time getting ready and steeling his nerves. He expected a cold reception at best, which he could only blame himself for. He dressed casually, just a pair of ratty jeans and Henley. Dean debated taking Cas with and decided it would be best to show Sam exactly what he got himself into. He walked down the hall to Cas’s room, opened the door quietly.

“Cas...” He said tentatively so he wouldn’t alarm the kid. “Wake up.”

Castiel made no movement towards getting up so Dean figured he would take matters into his own hands. He grabbed the edge of the comforter and threw it off. Castiel’s eyes immediately opened as he scrambled to cover himself. The reaction surprised Dean until he noticed something off about Castiel’s frame. The kid was no longer wearing one of the baggy sweatshirts but a more form fitting top instead which left nothing to the imagination.

“G-get out!” Castiel panicked and held the blankets to his chest.

“What the fuck?” Dean said slowly as he stared slack jawed at the person in front of him. “You’re a girl?”

“No! Get out, get out!” Castiel fussed and pressed himself flat against the wall. Dean knelt onto the bed and pulled Castiel’s wrists away, exposing the kid’s fully developed chest.

“Them how do you explain the fact you have tits?” He narrowed his eyes, anger building in his voice. “Why would you lie about something so stupid? I let you into my fucking home and you don’t even tell me the right gender. What the hell? I could have at least gotten you girl clothes instead of making you wear my brother’s old stuff.”

Castiel’s chest heaved with effort to pull away from Dean. He pulled his hands back to cover himself.

“You did get me the right clothing. I’m trans.” He explained weakly.

“What?”

“Trans, I identify as a male. I am male. I mean, I want to be. I haven’t started transitioning yet.”

“So you’re like a he she?”

“Please just use he, I’m a he.” Cas said brokenly, his expression becoming even sadder at the words.

“How have you been hiding it so long? I mean you’re not exactly flat or anything.”

“I wear baggy clothing over two or three sports bras.”

“Ah.” Dean nodded and shifted uncomfortably on the bed.

“I thought you knew.”

“How the hell would I know? You didn’t exactly leave any clues.”

“You looked at my driver’s license.”

“And that still has your real gender on it?”

“My biological gender.” Castiel corrected tersely.

“Yeah, whatever.” Dean rolled his eyes. “Just get ready to go; I don’t want to deal this bomb of info right now.”

“Just give me a couple minutes to pack my bag and I’ll go.” Castiel sighed, curling into himself.

“No, fuck, I mean get ready to go pick up Sam from the airport. Jeez.” Dean groaned and climbed off the bed. He looked down at the carpet; he kicked a few stray articles of clothing into a pile. “I didn’t mean leave, I mean we’ll talk about the whole you’re actually a boy when you work like a girl thing later.”

“Oh, okay.” Castiel paused and stared at him, shock evident on his face. “I just need like five minutes to get dressed.”

Castiel crawled off the bed and picked a few items out of his clean laundry pile next to the hamper. He made sure to keep one arm across his chest at all times. He took of his pants and turned to face Dean when the man hadn’t taken any action to leave.

“Do you mind?” Castiel raised an eyebrow. “I’d prefer to change without such a captive audience.”

“I’m not looking at you. I’m trying to get this all straight.” Dean scoffed.

“You said we’d leave it until another time so could we please just drop it for now?” Castiel asked, frustration etched into his features. Dean put his hands up in faux surrender before quickly leaving the room.

“Meet you downstairs. No funny business.” He called. Castiel rolled his eyes and resumed changing.

Castiel slowly made his way downstairs, worried on Dean’s reaction to him now. The moment where he first found out seemed tame enough but Cas couldn’t help feeling dread pool in the pit of his stomach.

“Ready kid?” He asked, standing up and looking down at him.

“No, but you’re not about to leave me home alone right, now are you?”

“Not a chance in hell, go get in the car.” Dean smirked and ruffled Cas’s hair; glad he had called the house his home. Castiel shot him a glare and begrudgingly made his way to the squad car. Dean laughed as he followed close behind.

“Why are you laughing?”

“Wrong car, I’m not about to pick up my little brother in anything less than my baby.”

Castiel watched Dean cautiously as he got into the back of the Impala. Dean climbed into the driver’s seat and started her up.

“Alright.” Castiel sighed and stared out the window as Dean pulled out of the garage.

“You’ll like Sam.” Dean glanced in the rear view mirror.

“That’s what you said when I first arrived at your house.”Castiel muttered.

“So you’re going to give me attitude right now?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Hell, I don’t know. Act normal I guess.”

“I’m not really in a mood to talk to someone who called me a he she.”

“It was an honest mistake,” Dean frowned and waited for a response. Castiel ignored him completely, hoping Dean would stop talking altogether. “Music then.”

Dean pushed a Zeppelin cassette in to play for the rest of the ride. The drive was painfully slow and uncomfortable for both of them. A few times during the ride Castiel attempted to open the door only to find it was locked. He resigned himself to staring out the window.

It took just shy of thirty minutes to get to the airport with traffic.

“Fucking traffic.” Dean muttered and smacked the top of the steering wheel. Castiel glanced at him briefly before turning his attention back to the window.

Sam carefully made his way from the luggage belt. He couldn’t believe how busy a small airport like this could get. Once he was out safely outside he scanned the parking lot trying to spot the impala. He saw Dean parked off to his left and started walking towards the car.

Sam gently tapped on the glass for Dean to unlock the door. The doors made a loud, mechanical sounding click as it unlocked. Sam opened the back door first to put his luggage there. He was taken aback to find a kid sitting in the back wearing one of his sweatshirts. The kid stared directly at him.

“You must be Castiel.” He said softly and held out his hand.

“You must be Sam.” Cas stated and shook his hand. Neither pulled away from the hands shake until Castiel spoke up again. “The health freak.”

Sam recoiled timidly at the title and nodded slightly. He set his suitcase on the backseat and shut the door. He got in the passenger seat and smiled back at Castiel.

“Dean told me a lot about you. I mean really, he left messages every night.” Sam said. “It’s almost like I know you already.”

“Trust me Sammy, you don’t.” Dean scoffed and Castiel pursed his lips in response. Sam glanced at both of them and folded his arms across his chest.

“Really Dean?” He narrowed his eyes a bit. “It’s not like he’s a serial killer. What don’t I know that’s so essential?”

“He’s actually a she.”

Sam looked at Castiel just in time to see his back go ridged. He stared back at Sam, trying to gauge a reaction to the news. Sam raised an eyebrow and sighed softly.

“What do you identify as?” He asked gently.

“Male,” Castiel replied, eyes widening.

“Thank you for telling me, I’ll make sure I don’t misgender you.”

“Thank you.” Castiel mumbled. Sam offered a warm smile before facing the front again.

“What?” Dean asked tensely when he noticed Sam watching him.

“I wouldn’t have come back if I knew you were still so ignorant about things like this.”

“I make one stupid joke so you leave and label me an intolerant asshole.”

“No, you made a rude, embarrassing joke out of my sexuality when I needed my brother.” Sam clenched his jaw. “And almost two and a half years later you never bothered to educate yourself, did you?”

“I don’t have time Sam.”

“Bull shit.”

“Sammy, let’s just try to get through this month without starting this again.”

“That’s kind of hard when you don’t take a part of my identity seriously and don’t even bother to learn why.”

“Excuse me,” Castiel spoke up, drawing the attention of both brothers. “What are you both talking about? I know it’s not my place but,”

“It’s not, so stay out of it.” Dean interrupted him. His tone was harsh and strained, hands tight around the steering wheel in annoyance.

“No Dean, he can know.” Sam said, more to antagonize his brother than anything.

“Oh, what? You trust him now?” Dean narrowed his eyes, turning to glare at his brother.

“Yeah, I trust another member of the queer community.” Sam unbuckled his seatbelt so he could turn around to face Castiel. “Sorry if I’m generalizing.”

“No no, you’re correct.” Cas nodded.

“At least save it until we get home.” Dean groaned, starting the car and quickly leaving the parking lot. “And put your damn seatbelt on Sam.”

Sam flashed Cas a brief smiled before turning back around. The atmosphere in the car as Dean drove home was tense; he couldn’t stand being at odds with his brother like this. Once Dean pulled into the driveway and killed the engine he grabbed Sam’s arm to stop him from getting out.

“Sam wait,” He said, biting his lip in uncertainly. “Can we talk? Just you and me?”

“Should I go inside?” Cas asked, “I’d need you to unlock the door.”

“Promise not to run?” Dean said, trying to ease some of the tension and offered Cas the house keys.

“I have nowhere else as safe to go.” Cas admitted as the door clicked again to unlock. Cas slowly got out and shuffled himself inside. The thought of running away crossed his mind but something told him to stay, so he did.

“Sam, look, I’m sorry okay.” Dean said, pulling his hand away from Sam’s arm. “I did some research after you left, read a few books, but I still can’t say I understand.”

“It’s literally the easiest thing to understand. I’m pan, as in meaning all. I’m attracted to all genders.” Sam explained. “And when I told you do you remember what you asked me?”

“Are you attracted to pans?” Dean recalled bitterly.

“You made a big joke out of it."

“I didn’t mean to.”

“But you still did it.”

“Sam, we’re family...” Dean reasoned weakly.

“That’s not a fix all, Dean. I was seventeen and had just come to terms with the fact I wasn’t normal. And I try to tell the one person I trust the most and he turns it into a joke. Think about how that made me feel.” Sam’s voice broke.

“Shit Sam, what can I say?” Dean asked, palming his eyes. “I get it, I was a shitty person and I want to understand. I’m sorry I don’t get all these terms and differences but you have to give me patience. “

“So you want to learn?” Sam asked carefully, eyeing Dean cautiously.

“Yes, I want to learn if you’re willing to teach me,” Dean looked up from his hands. “I just can’t stand the silence. I lost mom, then dad, you’re all I got. I can’t lose.”  
Sam was speechless as he listened his brother talk; his throat felt tight with the realization of how this had been affecting his brother. Dean didn’t know how else he could say what he meant. His eyes stung with tears, and he could see his brother tearing up as well.

“Sammy, please say something.” Dean pleaded hoarsely. His voice breaking as he searched his brother’s expression for even the slightest hint of forgiveness.

“You can start by apologizing to Cas,” Sam choked out. “And then we’ll talk. I don’t want to lose you either, that wasn’t my goal. I just...I couldn’t face you after that.”

“Nothing’s changed, you’re still my brother.” Dean smiled causing Sam to do the same. “I’ll support you no matter what. Now let’s head inside before Cas thinks we forgot about him.”

Dean got out of the car and waited for Sam. He wrapped an arm around his brother’s shoulder as he led Sam inside. Cas’s face lit up when he saw both of them enter, smiling at each other. It made the entire atmosphere of the house seem more relaxed.


	3. Chapter 3

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Okay, first of all I want to say I'm so so so sorry for not getting this done sooner. My mother passed away early last December after a long battle of cancer. I've been focusing on her care and tying up loose ends now that she's passed. I hope you enjoy this chapter. The plot will start picking up soon.

Dinner that night was peaceful; Dean had made hamburgers and French fries for Sam’s home coming. Sam told stories about college life, filling Dean in from their time apart and just entertaining Castiel.

“So what’s college been like being...queer?” Cas asked, stumbling over the term.

                        “Amazing, I joined a few safe spaces in the community for queer students, and even went to a few pride parades. I still have to explain being pansexual sometimes but usually no one cares.” Sam grinned. “Have you thought of college?”

“Not much...actually not at all.” Cas admitted sheepishly. “I don’t even know what I want to do for the rest of my life. I’ve been focused on how I’m going to afford transitioning.”

            Dean shifted uncomfortably in his chair and stared at Sam questioningly. He yawned, stretching out in his chair.

            “Why don’t you tell Sammy what you’ve been doing while you’ve been here?” Dean prompted.

“I’ve been studying for my GED.” Cas smiled, popping another fry into his mouth.

                        “That’s great, Dean got a GED instead of a diploma too. Do you have a test date picked out?” Sam grinned, pushing his plate off to the side.

“Not yet. I need to save up money to pay for it and to pay to take the ACT.” Cas stared down at the half eaten fry on his plate.

            Sam nudged Dean with his foot, looking at him pointedly and gesturing to Cas. Dean gave him a bewildered look before catching on and shaking his head.

                        “I’m sure Dean would pay for it.” Sam smirked at his brother’s frown. “It’s only he and I here and I’m going to school on scholarship. Plus I have a job in Palo Alto so I made him stop sending me money years ago.”

“I would never ask him to do that. He’s already been putting me up here for over a week.” Cas shook his head, picking at the food left on his plate. “He’s putting up with enough having me here. Besides nothing’s concrete yet; it’s just an idea.”

            “Exactly Sam, listen to your little buddy.” Dean grumbled.

                        “You should at least think about it.”

            Dean groaned and got up, taking his plate with him.

            “I’m just gonna eat upstairs. I’ll be back down later. You know when I’m not getting hassled.” He huffed, walking off to his room and ignoring Sam’s teasing snickers.

                        “I was waiting for him to leave.” Sam chuckled, smiling at Cas.

“So it was a ruse in order to make Dean uncomfortable?” Cas cocked his head in confusion, trying his best not to seem affected. “So I was a scapegoat, in a sense.”

                        “No no! I just… I want to learn more about you and I noticed you don’t talk much around Dean.”

“What do you want to know?” Cas asked timidly, eyeing Sam cautiously.

            "Anything you'd be willing to tell me... Like how you knew you didn't identify as female and how you came to terms with it and just...everything, if I'm being honest."

Cas smiled politely as he listened to Sam ramble on. He was flattered at Sam's hesitant wording and the glancing the other man did. Sam's expression remained soft and gentle in an almost startling contrast to his brother.

"Would you wish to compare then? I would like to know about being pansexual as well." Cas asked, oddly at ease with the proposition.

"Yeah? We could go out for a drive, get some ice cream... Maybe even do some shopping?" Sam grinned boyishly, but it faltered when he noticed Cas wouldn't meet his eye.

Cas tenses up as he heard Sam speak. The thought of going somewhere alone with him, a man he barely knew, made his chest tighten.

“Talking here is perfectly fine.” Cas replied quickly, pressing against his chair. “Talking in the house is fine. It’s safe.”

            “Oh right, Sorry… I didn’t mean to…” Sam bit his lip and nodded slowly. He was tempting to reach out to soothe the younger boy but decided against it, doubting it would do anything to help. “Now wasn’t the best time for that.”

“No, its just I feel more welcome and safe here than I ever have before. Most aren’t as, well, passive aggressive as your brother was upon finding out.” Cas explained.

            “Oh.”

“I don’t mean right at this exact location. Besides, forgive me for not being comfortable enough to go out into a town I haven’t been to in over nine years with someone I met less than six hours ago.” Cas sighed, resigning to toy with a loose string on his shirt.

            “Ah. You have a good point. At least you wouldn’t have to worry about passing, appearance wise.”

“Well having to wear two to three sports bras when I leave the house isn’t what I would call ideal.”

            “Oh, true…” Sam sighed, mouth feeling as though he had swallowed cotton. He resisted the urge to say anything else in favor of keeping his foot out of his mouth.

They were silent for a few minutes, allowing their exhaustion from traveling so far to sink in.

“What about you? Do you feel safe here?” Cas asked softly, looking up from his lap.

            “Not really… I mean as far as safe spaces go, this wasn’t one for me.” Sam shrugged. “I have bad memories here, especially with Dean. Hopefully him and I are on the road to working them out. How old did you say you were?”

“I’m thirteen days shy of eighteen.”

            “Oh cool, I’m five months shy of twenty two. I’m getting old over here.” He chuckled weakly. It got stronger when he noticed Cas smiling too.

“I know… Trust me, Dean told me all about you.”

The conversation died off there as both resolved to picking at what was left of their dinners. Once Sam had pushed his plate away and went to picking at hangnails Cas quietly cleared off the table before Sam could stop him.

“Would you like to watch a movie with me?” He asked timidly, turning the knob on the faucet until a warm trickle of water came out.

            “Yeah, sure… Did you have any movie in mind? I have a few in my bag but Dean has a ton.” Sam smiled, standing and moving to help with the dishes.

“Dean made multiple suggestions when I arrived… However, I’d like to hear yours” Cas gave him a slight smile as he started soaking the dishes.

            “We should marathon all three Iron Man movies! I brought them with me from school.”

“Isn’t Iron Man from Marvel?” Cas squinted appraisingly.

            “Uhh, yeah. Is that a problem?” Sam asked, raising an eyebrow.

“Dean told me to stick to DC movies.”

            “Trust me on this Cas, all DC has is Batman and Superman. Marvel has the real heros. Plus if you read the comics it has a ton of diversity.” Sam grinned as he made his way towards the stairs. “Just give me a minute to grab all the ones I have.”

            Sam disappeared up the stairs as Cas nodded. His eyes wandered around the room to waste time. Cas wondered how open Dean would be to updating a few things in the house but figured it wasn’t his place to ask.

            He was staring blankly at the island in the middle of the kitchen when Dean came into the room to put his dish in the sink.

                        “Hey Cas, mind being on dish duty tonight?” Dean asked.

“Not at all Officer Winchester.” Cas nodded politely.

                        “C’mon Cas, Officer Winchester was my dad. Call me Dean.” He smiled shyly. “I figured you might as well due some chores if I’m gonna pay for your test thing.”

            Cas’s eyes widened and he straightened up on the couch to look at Dean.

                        “There’s one more condition: you have to try public school.” Dean said, walking over and leaning against the back of the couch. “After Christmas break I want you to sign up. I’ll pay for the semester too. If you really don’t like it or its incompatible then you can drop out and I’ll pay for the GED test.”

“No matter what I do I won’t have enough credits to graduate. My foster parents pulled me out of school the semester before senior year due to ‘behavioral issues’.”

                        “What issues?”

“Being transgendered. And telling everyone.”

                        “Then credits be damned. You need to get out there and make friends. I’ll still pay for your GED test after you finish the semester.” Dean shrugged nonchalantly.

“Thank you Dean. Thank you so much.” Cas said, slowly standing so he could do the dishes.

            Dean put an arm out to stop him. He smiled and shook his head.

                        “Look Cas, I’m gonna be working a twenty four with Benny and a couple fire fighters because there have been a couple arsons around town. Nothing big, but enough to put us on guard.” Dean sighed. “So I’ll be gone from six am tomorrow until six am the day after. Go ahead and chill with Sam for tonight. You have plenty of time kid.”

“Oh, thank you Dean.” Cas smiled, trying to move towards the sink again but Dean still blocked him.

                        “So go sit and take a load off. Sam will be back any minute anyway.” Dean motioned towards the couch as Sam came downstairs.

            “Is Dean bothering you Cas?” Sam said defensively.

“No, he’s helping me substantially and being a very good friend.” Cas said softly.

                        “Why do you automatically assume I’m a bad guy because I’m not up to date on the rainbow train?” Dean huffed, running his fingers through his hair. “Nevermind,. I’ll be upstairs checking on some work stuff. Night guys.”

“Good night Dean.” Cas and Sam said as Dean walked past them on his way upstairs.

            Sam watched him go and looked at Cas anxiously.

            “That was dumb wasn’t it?” He asked.

“Not dumb but very unnecessary. Dean offered to pay for my GED test and last semester of high school.” Cas smiled, filling the sink with warm water to let the dishes soak. “Should we begin the movie?”

            “Just like that? He agreed?” Sam asked skeptically.

“He asked me to do simple things, like help around the house domestically speaking.” Cas shrugged. “The only difficult part will be having to go back to public school. I haven’t been in one for almost a year.”

            “Oh…” Sam rubbed the back of his neck and looked down. “So I was the bad guy there. Maybe we should do some research during the movie.”

“Research what?”

            “Your rights as a transgendered student. I know Illinois has passed some.” Sam smiled.

“Oh.” Cas gawked. “Sure. I’ll put the movie in while you grab your laptop.”

            Cas took the movie from Sam. Sam bit his lip as their fingers brushed. He nodded and quickly turned to get his laptop from his duffel bag.

            Cas had become proficient with the media player, in Dean’s house, to set the movie up quickly. He was lounging on the couch by the time Sam came back down.

            “Ready for this Cas?” Sam smiled, sitting down next to him. Cas nodded and yawned.

            Cas spent a majority of the time watching the movie half-heartedly while Sam feverishly researched. He spoke up a few times during the course of the movie.

            “You have to have reaffirming from parents or legal guardians.”

            “They have to provide you with bathrooms and appropriate pronouns. Along with being allowed to dress accordingly and access to resources and other helpful information.”

“That’s very nice Sam.” Cas hummed.

            “How will you get parent or legal guardian sign off?” Sam asked.

“I’ve foraged my foster mother’s signature before.” Cas shrugged. “Plus I took all my transcript info and doctor’s letter or diagnosis. All six of them.”

            “Why six?” Sam asked curiously.

“Miss Hester was looking for one to conclude I was just broken.” Cas smiled sadly.

            “I’m sorry you had to go through that.”

“I know. Thank you. She and Zachariah wanted to ship me off to a rehabilitation camp off somewhere with the cover story of helping some third world country, but I looked online. It was a reparative therapy camp.” Cas took a deep breath and rubbed his face. “I ran away before they scheduled the men to take me.”

            “Oh god Cas. That sounds terrifying.” Sam said softly, stopping the movie. “I’m glad you’re here.”

“Believe me, I am too. You and Dean have been very good to me.” Cas said sincerely. “I have a sister who’s still with them. Her names Claire and I miss her very much but I wouldn’t be any good to her dead.”

            “I’m sure they wouldn’t have killed you.” Sam said.

“No, probably not… But I would have surely killed myself.” He said softly. “It’s not easy feeling wrong in your own skin Sam. The easiest way for me to explain it is that it feels like I’m going through life but I’m not who I want to be so nothing feels right.”

            “I can’t even imagine Cas. God, they sound horrible.” Sam rubbed the back of his neck nervously. “I know it’s not the same but this frat that I was thinking of joining freshman year was starting initiations. One of them was smear the queer.”

“What does that mean?”

            “Basically all the pledges that were accepted had to work together to find a queer person and completely cover them in something disgusting.” Sam sighed, rolling his shoulders back to relax. “Well this one guy, Jake, flipped out. They had me hog tied and this Jake guy just started kicking me and beating me. The other pledges only stopped him when he tried to put a knife in my back.”

“Oh my goodness, Sam. Did you get hurt?” Cas asked. “Badly hurt?”

            “I fractured one of my lower ribs but I managed to meet one of my best friends Jess. She was volunteering at the hospital when I was dropped off. She invited me into the queer community at Stanford. She’s aro ace, and there’s Brady who’s biromantic poly. There are a few other people but I really connected with those two.”

            Cas gave Sam’s shoulder a gentle squeeze and kept it there for a moment.

“I’m glad we’ve both been able to persevere. Maybe when it gets warmer out I’ll take you up on that ice cream offer.” Cas smiled shyly. “I enjoy conversing with you.”


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So sorry for the lack of updates!! Hopefully I will be posting more now that the writing bug has bitten me.

_Claire, oh god. Hester has Claire. But I can’t go back. They’ll kill me. I’ll kill me. Please god, let Claire be safe. Oh please god._

Cas woke up with a sore throat and tears in his eye. His head pounded with effort to focus. This was the third night in a row of similar nightmares. He dragged himself from bed and hovered outside the door to Sam’s room. Cas knocked and slowly entered when he heard Sam grumble permission.  
“What’s up Cas? You look like you saw a monster.” Sam yawned, sitting up. His hair was perfectly mussed. 

Cas climbed into bed, unaware of his own shaking hands. 

“I had a nightmare. I’d really like some company.” He whispered. 

Sam nodded quickly and wrapped Cas in his blanket. He tentatively held Cas’s hands with his own and rubbed his freezing fingers.

“You wanna talk about it?” 

“Miss Hester was there. Dean had left me somewhere and she found me. She kept talking about pageants and how I was never a good daughter.” Cas sighed, laying next to Sam. “She kept saying she was glad she had Claire. What do you think she’s doing to my sister?”

“I’m sure Claire’s okay. Once you turn eighteen you can try to see her.” Sam suggested.

Cas shuddered as he cried softly, pressing his forehead against Sam’s. He knew that would never happen. Hester was too smart. Even if Castiel made it to eighteen there'd be a restraining order before he could blink.

“I’m so tired Sam. God I just want to peel my skin off sometimes.” He hiccuped. “I just can’t be a girl. I wish I could feel right in my skin but I just can’t. I don't want to do pageants, and I don't want to go dress shopping. I hate my curves. I hate them."

Sam cradled Cas and gently rocked him back and forth. He rubbed his back, trying to get Cas to take deep breaths.

"You'll never have to wear another dress or dress like that again Cas. You don't have to pretend anymore. You're safe here. I'll make sure this stays a safe place for you." Sam said gently.

Cas tucked himself against Sam's chest and wiped his eyes. He felt heavy, like his skin was laced with lead. 

“Thank you Sam… Am I going to be able to spend Christmas with you and Dean?” He asked softly. “I haven’t had a good Christmas in a while.”

“Yeah, of course. We can do a little Christmas shopping tomorrow if you want.”

“That sounds really good. I have some money left over and I want to get you and Dean something.” 

“You don’t have to do that Cas, Dean and I are just happy you’re safe.” Sam smiled.  
“Let’s get some sleep. We both need it.”

Sam pulled the blankets over them and rubbed Cas’s back. Sam’s hand felt soothing against him, applying just the right amount of pressure to lull him to sleep.

Cas woke up the next morning with his face pressed against Sam's chest. He had one hand tangled in Sam's hair and the other fisted in Sam's shirt. He carefully pulled away and sat up. Sam stirred for a few moments at the loss before settling back asleep.

Cas went back to his room and dug around for what was left of his money. He knew he couldn't get the rest until he was eighteen unless he wanted to tip Hester off as to where he was. He had just about forty dollars left.

"Hey Cas, you left out of nowhere. Was I snoring or something?" Sam asked.

His hair was perfectly mussed and his lips looked pinker than normal. 

"No, no. I woke up a few minutes ago and I wanted to start getting ready." Cas smiled, pushing his bag back under the bed. "Do you mind if I shower before we head out?"

"Go ahead, I'll probably have to shower too." Sam grinned. "I'm glad you're still up for shopping. You didn't seem too keen on going out with me a couple days ago on movie night."

"I'm very interested in going out with you, especially for Christmas shopping." Cas said plainly, putting the money on his nightstand. "See you in a little bit."

Cas took his towel and a change of clothes. The shower was slow and uneventful. Cas would never get used to feeling fresh water running down his skin. He had only been on the road for eight days but it was enough to make him cling to every amenity he had now. 

Cas thought about Sam and the night before. He was sweet and soothing, his voice alone was so calm. Cas felt himself begin to get flustered. He reached down and bit his lip.  
Sam was handsome but Cas wasn't sure Sam would say the same about him. He reached down and began to rub himself. He let out a harsh breath and closed his eyes.

"Oh fuck." He breathed.

_Sam grabbing him by the waist and cornering him against the wall._  
_The kisses are searing hot across Cas's exposed skin. He's biting at Cas's lip and his breathing is harsh._  
_Sam carrying him to the bed and stripping him down._  
_"Oh god Sam please." Cas is moaning and clutching at his shirt._

Cas's legs trembled as his stomach tightened. He felt his skin tingle and leaned back against the tile. He circled his clit faster before finally... Release. Cas panted and closed his eyes, letting the water wash over him as he pulled his hand away.

"Oh god, I'm screwed." He breathed. Cas washed off as quickly as he could and got out, trying to shake off the sinking feeling in his stomach.

Cas dressed himself in three sports bras, a sweatshirt and frumpy jeans. He walked out of the bathroom and almost ran right into Sam.

"Oh hey, what took you so long?" He smiled.

Cas's face flushed pink, and he shrugged. 

"I got soap in my eye. I had to wash it out." He said softly. "I'll meet you downstairs.”

Sam gave him a confused nod before going into the bathroom. Cas shuffled downstairs and did the dishes from last night. 

Sam came down barely twenty minutes later, dressed in fresh clothes.

"Ready to go?" He grinned, grabbing his wallet off the counter. 

Cas nodded and got his jacket on. 

"I'm excited to go shopping. Where are we going first?"

"I was just thinking this cool antique store then you can pick next. You grew up here right?"

"I did, but it's been awhile since I was here." Cas said timidly.

Sam grinned and grabbed his hand, walking him out to the impala.

"Are you sure we're allowed to take this?" He asked. "This is like Dean's child."

"Yeah, besides there's really no other way to go into town. As long as I'm driving I'm sure he won't mind."

They both got into the car and Sam started up the engine. The town had changed since Cas was younger. There were plenty of tiny shops crushed together in long strips.

"It's pretty cold out so I'm going to try to find a really close parking space." Sam smiled, his dimples highlighting his rosy cheeks.

"Sounds perfect." Cas sighed contently. 

Once Sam parked Cas nearly jumped out of the car. It was starting to feel too comfortable in there. Cas held onto Sam's sleeve loosely as they walked into the store. Plenty of people were there doing last minute shopping of their own.

“Gosh it's crowded as hell.” Cas smiled.

“You’re right, it’s crazy out here.” Sam grinned. “Look, let’s go into the antique store.”

Sam pulled Cas out of the snowy, busy street into the shop. The lights had a soft glow made all the wooden furniture stand out. 

“I like the table over there…” Cas chuckled. “Everything here is made out of wood.”

“We’re in the wood section… okay yeah. Everything’s wood here.” Sam laughed, looking around. “Let’s try to find something and if not we’ll look somewhere else.”

"I'll be over in the metals section." Castiel chuckled and pointed out a section across the store. Sam nodded and kept looking around. 

Castiel grazed his fingers over some of the trinkets and paused when he found a iron mug. It had a car similar to Dean's carved into it. Castiel waved Sam over. 

"Do you think Dean would like this?" He asked hopefully.

“Cas… I already said you didn’t have to get us anything.” Sam smiled. “But yeah, that’s his car on it.”

“Let’s see, twenty dollars… I suppose I should spend equal amounts on both of you so I’m going to keep looking.”

“Cas it’s fine. Buy whatever you like. We can look at other store. Christmas is like six days away so just go with whatever.” Sam chuckled and went back to browsing.

Castiel nodded and browsed, finding a less expensive ceramic cup with the same design for Dean. He browsed a bit more and found a bracelet. It had to small iron balls on opposite sides of the leather cord, and despite the small size it felt heavy. Cas smiled down at it and quickly paid before Sam saw. Sam glanced over and walked back to Cas. 

“Hey, I’m not finding anything so I’m thinking online is going to be my best bet.” Sam chuckled. “Are you done or do you want to look around more?”

“Oh no, I’m alright. I found both gifts.” Castiel smiled and thought for a moment. “However, I believe there is an ice cream shop or confectionary close by. My mother used to take me there and get me a scoop of ice cream and a brownie.”

“That sounds really good right now. If we find it let’s get some.” Sam grinned and held Cas’s hand as they walked back out to the car.

Castiel blushed and pulled his hood over his face before getting in the car.

The two drove around the town, Cas trying to give vague directions from what he remembered. Castiel kept his arms wrapped around his chest. Eventually they both gave up and stopped at a burger place.

“I thought you ate healthier than this. That’s what Dean said.” Castiel hummed, getting up more so he could see the menu. 

“Well don’t take him literally. I just like to eat balanced. But both of our stomach have been rumbling so we deserve some food.” Sam chuckled.

Castiel nodded and gave Sam his order, unconsciously holding onto Sam’s arm. He smiled at the man and read over their order before sitting back down. He kept his hand on Sam’s arm and Sam clearly wasn’t bothered by it. 

The burgers were delicious and Cas felt as if he could sleep for days now. “Can we stop somewhere and relax for a bit? I don’t want to go back to the house yet.”

“Oh yeah sure, I think there’s this forest preserve I used to hike at just up the road.” Sam smiled. “I used to sneak out there my senior year and smoke with my friends. I don’t, uh, smoke or anything like that anymore. Not with my scholarship on the line. You know?”

“Not really, but I can imagine. A man that gave me a ride offered me a joint but I wasn’t interested.” Castiel smiled as Sam parked the car. 

“We’ll stay out here for a little while… so are you doing alright after last night?”

“Yeah, I think so. I just can’t wait until my birthday. Then I can get Claire and we can move on.”

“Are you sure it’ll be that easy Cas? I don’t mean to be negative but I doubt Hester will just give up custody.”

“Well Hester is just a foster home, so I’ll fill out an application to adopt Claire. Plus I’m next of kin.”

“But it takes a lot of money to adopt Cas… Why not take care of yourself first?” 

“Because I have a responsibility to her. It’s a big brother thing. You wouldn’t understand.”

“Alright, maybe I don’t. Let’s go home so you can wrap up the stuff you picked out. I just think you’d want to make sure you were okay and happy before bringing Claire over.”

“I mean… I’ll be happy once she’s safe and once I’m eighteen money isn’t a problem so I can fully transition.”

“Have you come out to her yet?” Sam asked softly, glancing at Cas.

Cas went silent and turned away. 

He resigned himself to staring out the window at the scenery. He knew Claire would accept him, it was a non issue. Not something that Sam even needed to ask; although Cas couldn’t blame him.

When they arrived home Cas quickly ran to wrap his gifts; he put Dean’s gift in a bag but since Sam’s came in a nice little box he wrapped it. But Cas wasn’t going to win any wrapping contest, he tried which is what counted. The only downside was that he was broke now; Cas had seventy three cents to his person.

He sighed and went downstairs to wash the dishes. He hoped he would screw up every time he spoke to Sam. Cas wanted to open up but he knew how dangerous it was to naively trust someone.


End file.
